An Empathetic Gesture.

The third time I went to A&E to insist that something was wrong with my mental state, I went alone. It was a Monday, I had spent the weekend sobbing feeling overwhelmed at the thought of leaving my bed and I’d had enough. I’d been accompanied the last two times I went to A&E and having other opinions in the mix made me ignore my instincts and back down from what I was certain that I needed-to be hospitalised.

I don’t know where that certainty arose from. I’d never known anyone who went to a psychiatric hospital before, but I knew I wouldn’t make it through if I tried to heal myself on my own.

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Am I a Victim or a Survivor?

I would definitely label myself a survivor, but sometimes it’s been to my own detriment. I saw it as my responsibility to overcome my obstacles that were in my way. I burdened myself with a need to handle different situations in a “correct” way.

It was really harmful to think this way and ultimately it lead me to burn out. By the time I arrived in the hospital, I had exhausted my defence mechanisms. I was completely vulnerable to anything and everything

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I Need Your Help

A common theme in my writing is the harassment I get on the street and through other experiences in my day-to-day life. I’ve never sugarcoated or been shy of talking about it. I hoped that doing this would help to improve things. I hoped it would make people think about their actions. But who am I kidding? None of those people are reading my writing.

This harassment has always come in waves. At different points in the year (sunny days, occasions for a lot of drinking) the harassment will get worse. At other points in the year, my days are relatively untouched by dickheads. But I’ve noticed something lately.

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Women Who Inspire : Laylah Beattie, Writer, Model & Activist.

Laylah Beattie, formerly known as David Beattie is an author of two books, Just Saying and Who Cares? Both memoirs document her world view and her gender transition. Laylah has modelled for numerous brands and has worked as an activist for the LGBT community. She has appeared on the Late Late Show and most recently was the first transgender person to appear on First Dates, Ireland. I catch up with this inspirational lady to see what makes her tick.

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Reasons I’m Not Grateful for my Mental Illness

It’s difficult to find any reason to be grateful for my mental illness. I could go on all day about shitty things that I have to put up with, but here are some things that people may not understand about the nature of both depression and anorexia. They don’t just make you sad and hungry. They affect almost every aspect of your life.

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A Letter to my Future Self.

Now that I’ve made my ebook “Who Cares? Life for an Irish Transgender Teen” free to the public (you can download the full thing here), I’ve decided to publish the chapters here on my website. Below is a chapter from this book which was published in April 2016.

Dear Laylah,

I am not going to open this letter by hoping that you’ve achieved everything that I wish you will, because that would be an insult to you. There’s no question as to whether you’ve reached for your dreams or not. But I do hope that you’ve found satisfaction through these achievements. I hope that you don’t have any empty voids or sources of shame that are unresolved.

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Getting Naked.

It’s been a year since “Exposition,” my first nude shoot was released. To celebrate this, here’s a collection off essays about the experience that were published in my third book “Stay Wild.”

The first time I remember being uncomfortable with my body I was 10. I don’t know if this was the beginning of my struggles with exposing my body, but it’s the first time I realised that what I was feeling mightn’t necessarily be normal.

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Reasons I’m Grateful for my Mental Illness.

There are so many reasons that I’m not grateful for my mental illness. I’ll be writing about those soon, but I thought I’d start with the positives. It’s snowing outside and I’m feeling cosy and I don’t want to have to think about the ways which I’ve suffered. Adversity brings good things with it. And being ill has definitely improved my character in a number of ways.

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My Reading List

Now that I’ve made my ebook “Who Cares? Life for an Irish Transgender Teen” free to the public (you can download the full thing here), I’ve decided to publish the chapters here on my website. Below is a chapter from this book which was published in April 2016.

I know. I’m talking about books again. You’re probably asking yourself whether I ever shut up about them. The answer is no, but I believe that I told you how entitled and annoying I can be in the opening of this book. I have a collection of books that I adore. I only started this collection about a year ago but it has grown a good bit since then. I’ve read a lot more books than the ones on this list but these are my favourites. I keep hard copies on a specific shelf in my room in my Mam’s house. I may have read these books in eBook form or borrowed them from a friend but they had such an impact on me that I would then buy my own hard copy to keep with me. I am including this list because I believe that I learned many things from each of these books and because they have impacted my own experiences and my own writing.

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The Alison Spittle Show-Laylah Beattie

In Episode 48 – Alison meets writer, broadcaster and model, Laylah Beattie. They talk about being the Regina George in school, defence mechanisms, favourite Irish murderers, being the first transgender person on First Dates, being targeted by right-wing bloggers, what the food’s like at a psychiatric hospital, the patron saint of television and going through a nun’s skip.

I Have Low Self Esteem (Who Knew?)

I was participating in one of the therapeutic workshops that my life seems to consist of these days when we began discussing low self esteem. It came as quite a shock to me to realise that I suffer from it. You may scoff and think “Laylah Beattie? Low self esteem? Bitch where?” And I would have thought the same. But when I heard the details of this particular affliction, I realised that I really do fit the bill.

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Dear Parents

Now that I’ve made my ebook “Who Cares? Life for an Irish Transgender Teen” free to the public (you can download the full thing here), I’ve decided to publish the chapters here on my website. Below is a chapter from this book which was published in April 2016.

Hello parents. How are you? Tired? Angry? Too busy to talk? Who can blame you. Your job is difficult. Kids are horrible. Teenagers are worse. And then they just leave at the end of it all. Why does anyone do it? This chapter is about trying to give you an insight into the mind of your child and maybe giving you some tips on dealing with them. What’s that you ask? Why should you listen to me? Oh don’t worry, I have no doubt that you’ll completely ignore any of the things that you disagree with and that’s completely your right as a parent. But I am going to speak about some things that may relate to your teenager. They probably won’t because god knows, I was never your average teenager. But nevertheless, let me begin.

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