Is there any real way to deal with assholes? People are assholes in many different ways. People are assholes when they judge you. When they misrepresent you. When they dislike you for no good reason. When they are just plain wrong about things that they say. There are so many different types of assholes that you encounter on a regular basis. We all know them. We all deal with them. Some of us may be them.
But what happens when you come across somebody, on a regular basis, who has no redeemable qualities? Or when you discover someone that you previously liked has suddenly become an asshole or has always been an asshole? What about the people who are relentlessly hypocritical, controversial, offensive and just plain ignorant? People who shut down the ideals of feminism, equality and other morally based principles for no other reason than to annoy you.
I don’t know if you’ve ever come across someone like that. Someone who seems to actually enjoy watching you get angry. Someone who has a personal vendetta against you to the point that if you say black, they will say white just for your benefit. I hope for your sake that you haven’t.
These people, at times, make my blood boil. I question why someone feels the need to put others down like that. I wonder how someone could actually enjoy watching other people feel negative emotions because of their actions or words. I get frustrated that an individual would actually go out of their way to be spiteful. Sometimes I think that being an intentionally spiteful person is one of the worst things that you could be.
So what do you do when you encounter an individual who behaves in this way towards you? The answer is not pleasant for most people.
You ignore it. This is not an easy thing to do but you must. These people are unhappy within themselves and for some reason they’ve chosen to take it out on you. My theory is that they do this because you represent something that they lack. Confidence, humour, popularity, a carefree attitude or something else positive. I believe that jealousy is one of the biggest causes of resentment.
How do you ignore them? Using the utmost level of strength. I struggle so much to ignore these people. I want to scream in their faces and ask “why me?” I want to shake them and tell them to get a life and butt out of mine. I want to ask “why are you like this?”
But none of that helps. It is useless to try to reason with these people. It’s a waste of time to try to understand why they are targeting you. And if you retaliate you are only going to show them that it bothers you and get yourself more worked up. So the best thing to do is nothing.
Is this fair? No. But, in my experience, this is the only way you can succeed in showing them that you have the upper hand. Block them from your social networks. Look through them as if they don’t even exist. If they say something to you, smile to yourself and pretend you didn’t hear. I know for a fact that smiling after you’ve been personally attacked is really disconcerting for your attacker and they usually have no idea how to proceed.
Do not ever engage with them, because that’s exactly what they want you to do. Don’t respond, no matter how tempting it is (and it will be tempting). Take the high road and put yourself first. You owe it to yourself not to allow these people to take up space in your mind.
Watch my video on Blocking Out Negativity below:
Read about an experience of trolling that I had here.