A friend recently told me that he cannot wait to see my apartment in the future. He said he imagines it to be such a funky and relaxing place. Honestly I was flattered by that statement. He has seen where I live now and it is not pretty. My room is always extremely messy, not to mention my kitchen. I have many ideas when it comes to my future place, and I constantly talk about it wistfully with my friends. I wrote the following journal entry last December in the middle of the night.
My dream apartment is on the top floor of a tall New York building. It stretches wide with massive windows that overlook the most beautiful aspects of the city and large heavy curtains that enable me to shut the world out when I need it. The walls are colourful, covered in pictures of the many places I’ve visited and the many people I’ve met. The apartment is cluttered of course. The surfaces are littered with half burned candles, bottles of red wine, blue pens, red lipstick and jars of face cream. It has a massive bath that I often take long soaks in. The bedroom houses an extremely large bed that sinks like a cloud when you sit on it. There’s a wide balcony outside with many chairs arranged around it. The squashy couch is covered in cosy blankets and faces the window. I have a large wardrobe full of beautiful clothes that I love dearly. On a cushion perches a little dog and perhaps a cat. The enormous bookcase in the corner holds my many journals, my endless collection of books, movies, CDs and records that inspire me. There are spare bedrooms for my many visitors who need a place to stay. On the counter sits a coffee machine that produces the most delicious French black coffee. It is a place where I can seek inspiration, think freely, read, write, laugh and be content. It’s the place where I’ll finally settle after living in many other parts of the world. It’s the place where I’ll stand by the window, in my silk nightclothes and breathe deeply, knowing that I could stay here forever.
Look I’m not naive. I know that it’s a big dream and that I will have to work extremely hard. But I am prepared to work hard for each of my dreams. I know that I’ll need a lot of money to achieve this but I intend to earn a lot of money. Do I sound like an asshole? Maybe my desires are slightly materialistic. Maybe I should desire to end war or to invent a hair dye that prevents roots. Something noble. But I intend to seek the life that my soul truly wants while also being the best person that I can be. Every time I think about my future place I feel an unquenchable excitement. I’m not wishing my life away. I don’t want to be there tomorrow. But I love the comfort of knowing that I’ll be there some day.
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Read my essay about My Voice and My Privilege here.