The Question of Children.

Every time I’ve done an interview about my transition I’ve been asked the same question. Do I want kids?

Why am I asked this? Why does it matter? Is that really a relevant thing for me to discuss at eighteen years of age? It’s as if people are thinking “okay, you’re embarking on this significant journey in which you become a woman, but what happens then? Will you do what a woman is supposed to do and have kids?” The first time I was asked this I didn’t think much of it. But when it happened more than once I felt confused.

Are they forgetting that I’m a teenager? Are they forgetting that I have my whole life ahead of me? Would they ask an eighteen-year-old who wasn’t in my position this question?

Maybe I’m finally experiencing the pressure that society puts on women to have children. Let me repeat my answers to you:

“Children aren’t high on my list of priorities. I have a lot that I want to do with my life. I have many dreams and desires that I’m currently pursuing so I don’t ever think about having children. I never say never though, I know that there are plenty of options there if I wanted to have children, it’s just not a matter that is very important to me at this stage of my life.”

Every time I’ve said this I’ve received a nod and a reassuring smile. Although once I did receive a tight smile and the response; “you’re still young, you’ll probably want them when you’re older.”

I doubt this hasn’t been made clear before, but I despise being patronised. The surest way to make my blood boil is to speak to me like I don’t know my own mind.

The truth is I don’t ever see myself wanting kids. I’m well aware that things change and all of those other clichés but if you sit in front of me today and ask me whether I want kids or not, I have the urge to shout “fuck no” before running from the room screaming “I will never have a uterus” to the world.

But because I cannot do that I instead give the above answer that doesn’t necessarily reflect my actual aversion to having children. I mean, kids are lovely until you have to be responsible for them. You’ve been reading my writing and I’m sure you’re aware that I am an irresponsible, ambitious, slightly narcissistic person and I don’t plan on changing that any time soon. (I do not wish to make out that one can’t be ambitious and want to have children at the same time because I do not believe this at all).

I can’t tell you what’s going to happen in the future. But putting pressure on me to correspond with traditional family roles is wrong. I shall do what I want and if I ever do have a child, I probably won’t be a traditional stay at home mother. I am so okay with that and no one will ever make me feel guilty for it. I do not believe that in order for me to become a woman, I must become a mother.

Disclaimer: I do not believe that anyone who has asked me this meant to insult me and I am not angry at them for doing so. I just believe that it’s the way our society is, and I do resent that fact.


Listen to an episode of my podcast about male rape below:


Read my advice for Dealing With Assholes here.


2 thoughts on “The Question of Children.

  1. You may prefer a lighter phone, but the Amaze seems like it has better build quality understanding that could account for that
    extra weight. Remember, the aliens that killed our fellows on the Aurora and tried to kidnap us hid behind strange radiation. Jeep led light bar There are heavy
    equipment emergency lighting at the same time as LED lights that happen to be portable and
    lightweight.

    They have a modular construction that enables you usage of
    even the smallest parts from the LED light. The most basic type of an LED emergency light is the
    strobe light.

    Like

  2. You have to get willing to save cash than money
    for it. The hidden camera is really a device that is certainly
    used by many, whether it is a business man having a business office, an employee or even a
    journalist. Security cameras consumer reports
    Perhaps this will be the reason why it truly is preferred by many office buildings, banks and in many cases your own homes.

    So, for drivers who’ve been speeding in towns,
    by way of example, their vehicle registration number would possibly not be caught clearly.
    This won’t hinder the appearance top quality along while using impression may likely always be clear.

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s