Recently I had the pleasure of waking up to a message from a troll. I awoke early and lay in bed for a while checking my emails before I stumbled upon a message relating to my chapter “The Reluctant Feminists.” A male had sent me the link to a video by Lauren Southern entitled “Why I am not a Feminist” which I had actually been shown before.
There are many reasons I don’t agree with this video. Firstly, she does not understand what the word feminism means. People like her are constantly trying (and failing) to define feminism when they have no idea. To me, and to other (real) feminists, it means equality for the sexes. Nothing more and nothing less. She ignores this fact and continues to attempt to disregard feminism. She also points out a number of ways that males are disadvantaged and states that feminists do not care about these. They do. I’ve seen numerous posts by feminists discussing exactly what she discusses.
The different struggles for men that she outlines are mostly a result of the patriarchy. What is the aim of feminism everyone? To disable the patriarchy.
I have never heard a (real) feminist state that all men are privileged. But pretending that there is not a significant population of men with privilege is idiotic. Feminists do write about the stuff she wants them to. She has just obviously never bothered to try and search for that.
Also this woman has a history of being extremely discriminatory. She is anti-refugee, does not believe in white privilege and constantly broadcasts these opinions on social media etc. She is a hateful, uneducated bigot and I do not agree with her. And that is completely my right.
I am so sick of defending these stances. Because people love to argue about them and all I’m left feeling is incredibly frustrated. So now, if I’m not in the mood I just don’t. I wish I always had the energy to take on the world but I do not.
So on this morning I responded to the message telling him that I’d seen the video before and that I don’t agree with her. I then turned back over in my bed to peacefully read my book.
You should know that I fulfil the stereotype of the person who turns into a monster before their morning coffee. It is because of this reason that I don’t really respond to messages before I’ve had a cup. However, I thought that my response to him had been reasonable and fair.
I immediately got a reply asking “on what basis?” I was hoping for a relaxed morning. I had woken up in a chilled humour and I did not really want this to change. I’ve debated with people who are anti-feminism tirelessly. I’ve probably listened (and I mean really listened) to every single argument against feminism that there is. And I still continue to fight on. However, I’m not trying to change people’s minds anymore. I would just like them to think about feminism and the many good things it brings.
But I have learned that you need to be in a particular headspace to debate properly. There is no point engaging with these people when I’m aware that I’ll only get angry and blow the whole argument. I wrote a message explaining that I wasn’t in the mood to talk about this right now and telling him that there are plenty of places to get informed on this topic if he wishes to do so. I told him that he has a right to believe whatever he wants, just as I have a right to do the same.
He got extremely angry at this response accusing me of being a “third-wave feminist” with no reasons to back up my arguments. He then picked out a line from my chapter “My Voice and My Privilege” in which I stated “I have a beautiful face and a supermodel’s body.” After I had said this I put this in brackets; (god I sound totally narcissistic).
This boy told me that I sounded like a narcissist (which I had already acknowledged) and that I looked like something from “Flushed Away.”
I actually had to laugh at this one. I had completely forgot that the movie “Flushed Away” had ever even existed. For anyone that doesn’t know, “Flushed Away” is an old movie about sewer rats. However, the rats actually don’t look half bad so I actually didn’t get offended.
This is one of them:
She’s pretty considering the fact that she’s a rat. Also this kind of resembles my death glare so I could see where he was coming from.
I recognised his anger. People aren’t used to an individual from a minority recognising their own beauty and when they see it happen, their usual reaction (for some strange reason) is disgust. But people pay me compliments all of the time and there is no reason why I shouldn’t listen to them.
My message has always been about equality and about loving yourself. If people have a problem with that I think it’s a bad sign.
By the time I replied to this boy I had made myself a coffee and was taking my first satisfying sip. I was ready to take him on.
I was annoyed that he felt entitled. He felt entitled to my time, by demanding I justify my opinions when I clearly stated that I was not in the mood. He felt entitled to criticise me after reading my blog, as if the stuff I was writing was for his benefit. He felt entitled to criticise my appearance as though that has anything to do with the opinions stated on my blog.
I was ready. Ready to fight the good fight. I hit him where it hurt: His manhood. I asked him questions like “does it make you feel like a big man when you insult me?” “Does it upset your inflated ego when you can’t bully someone into an argument?” “Does your dick get confused when I compliment myself?”
He responded by calling me aggressive. It was then that I knew I wasn’t dealing with a rational person, so I blocked his messages. Simple as that. Not because he had won. Not because I was afraid of what else he might say. But because I was being the bigger person.
Trolls seem to have this idea that writers are required to argue with them, but I won’t do this. I would love to have the strength to prove my point to every single person but why should I? I’m busy getting on with my own shit. Believe it or not, writing books and fulfilling my dreams can be pretty time consuming.
I refuse to give in to the whims of these trolls especially when they’re downright abusive. Everyone has the right to their opinion but, and this might be a shock to some people, they aren’t required to share it with me. I am not forcing anyone to read my writing and I certainly am not forcing them to shove their opinions down my throat. I just wanted to make these points clear even though I resent giving this troll any attention.
Anyway, I’m going to have a hot chocolate and continue to write about my passion for feminism, ignoring the little boys who compare me to sewer rats (FYI I have decided to totally take that as a compliment).
Watch The Struggles of Being a Feminist below:
Read the original post that angered this troll here.