At a dinner with some girlfriends that I hadn’t seen in a while, we sat in front of glasses of wine after stuffing ourselves with Italian food. They announced that they had a gift for me, before one of them added that they weren’t sure whether I’d like it.

They presented a pink book with white writing. It was called “Go Get Him” by Avril Mulcahy; a dating book. At first I felt offended. And I told them as much. But they quickly explained why they had bought it.

They had been book shopping together when they saw it. They had decided to buy me it because I had begun dating. It wasn’t because they didn’t have faith in me, but because they did. They wanted me to get the best from the dating experience and I couldn’t be annoyed by that. (Also, one of my friends later told me that she thought I could put something about it on my blog, and here we are).

I saw where they were coming from. It’s not easy for trans women to date. And it’s not made easier by my current in-between status when it comes to regular gender markers. They were only being helpful. And I would be a fool to be annoyed about that.

So it was with an open mind that I opened this book and began to read. Truthfully it was a good book. Avril gives sound, proper advice. There is space to fill in certain things and I believe that you really could learn to date properly after reading it.

There are three main stages:

1.The Dickhead Clear-out.

2.The “I Am a Ride” mantra.

3.The Flirtation Formula.

Basically you have to let go of any fuckboys, (I was surprised when the red squiggly line appeared under the word fuckboy. It’s such a huge part of my vocabulary right now that I just see it as a real word) see yourself as worth people’s time and be good at flirting. Without sounding arrogant I had already put all of these things into practice. I’m blessed with a huge amount of self-respect, so I didn’t really need a book to get advice on these things. (Sorry friends, I still really appreciate you).

I have gone on a couple of nice dates and I honestly think that the secret is believing with all of your heart that you are worth dating. Even in my situation, I’m not afraid to put myself out there and to date. There are good people out there who are looking to date. And if you look in the right places, while you’re in the right headspace, it’s very possible that you’ll find someone.

*You’ll be happy to know that I added fuckboy to my dictionary. You’re welcome Microsoft Word.

Watch Transgender and Naked below:

Read the lessons I learned in college here.


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