When I was in sixth class, we had a woman come in to build our class relationship. Thinking back, we must have had a lot of confrontation to need that particular talk but none of us noticed this at the time. Everyone had to make a paper fan and it was passed around. Everyone wrote their opinion of that person on each line of the fan. This was what was written on mine:
David is a good friend and a good laugh.
David is Kind
He is good at drama.
He is sound.
He is funny and a good friend.
He is funny.
Is good at drama.
Great friend really funny simply the best.
Good at acting.
A good friend and a very good actor.
Funny great craic and the best.
You’re the best BFF!
Dave you’re the best.
I remember being really thrilled when I got my fan back but now that I look back I’m honestly feeling less so. Certain things such as “hyper,” “brill” and “a good friend and a very good actor” seem to be somewhat backhanded. For example, was the third one suggesting that I was a better actor than I was friend?
I’m joking obviously. These things are so funny to look back on. It’s lovely to read over the (sort of) kind words of eleven and twelve year-olds. I’m so grateful that I used to document all of these things in my journals.
Sometimes I feel as though I’m a million miles away from the child that was written about on that fan. But I’m okay with that. Change is something worth embracing and honestly, that child was a fake bitch. I should probably cut him some slack considering how young he was, but I don’t really like thinking about him.
The point of this chapter was not only to share a funny aspect of my past (or to bash my childhood self) but rather to remind each of you that I was once a child. I know I don’t talk about my (distant) past that often but I don’t know why that is.
Maybe it’s because I don’t remember that time period too well (I suspect I blocked a lot of it out). Maybe it’s because I’m so focused on my teenage self, but I will make an effort in the future to try and go back further. Because I honestly have always kind of lead an extremely colourful life, even when I was only very small.
Read about my experience of boys here.
Watch how I bleach my hair below: