None of my family batted an eyelid when my sister Emma brought Thabani home to meet us over two years ago. He was a polite, humorous, normal young man who was clearly good for my sister. That was all that mattered to us. It was only when people started to question me about both mine and my family’s reactions that I realised it was a big deal for some people. When Emma later told me about some of her experiences, I was shocked. I could not believe some of the things that she’s encountered in this day and age. I thought that Emma’s perspective was a unique one. The partner of a black man, who has grown up with a privilege and a different life than him, experiencing what he has to face for the first time.