From the 12th of September until the 2nd of October I had what were probably three of the busiest weeks of my life. Because I’ve never been one to suffer in silence, I decided to document it and share it with all of you. During this period my Grandmother was very sick so I had to travel in and out of the hospital amongst many other things. I completely recognise that this was my personal choice and I in no way wish to make out that this was a burden for me. But acting like it wasn’t difficult would be a lie. My life isn’t usually this busy but I’m proud of how I handled myself throughout this time.
Monday. Today is my first day back to college. I’m slightly hungover from drinks that I had the night before. I get the bus in with my roommates who are all in the same course as me. I have four lectures from 11 until 6. During our one hour break I go for lunch with my friends, some of whom I haven’t seen all Summer. I really enjoy catching up with them before I head back to college. When I’m finished college for the day, I get the bus out to the hospital. It’s about a 20 minute journey. I sit with my Gran for a couple of hours, telling her about my day and helping her with anything that she needs. I leave in the evening. I get a bus that drops me off a ten minute walk away from my apartment. I collect the post from the pub that I live above and I go upstairs. It’s then that I realise that my keys are sitting on my desk inside the locked apartment. None of my roommates are home. I ring Aoife and she tells me that she’s at the shops. I don’t bother telling them that I’m locked out and instead make myself comfortable on the floor. In my post there are two proofs of my new book “Just Saying” and a novel that I’ve been dying to read. I read some of the novel and flick through the proofs looking for mistakes. It’s freezing in the corridor and I’m counting the seconds until my roommates get back. One good-looking boy from my building comes into the hall and sees me sitting surrounded by stuff. I’m wearing a beret and flicking through my notebook. Disappointingly, I don’t think he fell in love with me. When the girls finally arrive back I nearly jump on them with glee. I make myself some dinner before retreating to my room to catch up on tv and get an early night.
Tuesday. I awake to discover that I had turned off my alarm. I am running late for the first time in my life (I wish). I jump into clothes, make myself somewhat presentable and run out the door, just catching a bus at the last second. I fidget nervously through rush hour traffic and manage to miraculously arrive just in the nick of time (positive thinking really is the best). I had been planning to go to the library and get some work done before going into the hospital for the evening but because of my lateness, I could not do this. I go for a quick coffee and catch-up with my friend Sophie before heading back to my apartment. I have lunch with my roommates before sitting down to work for an hour or so. After packing aan overnight clothes with my essentials, I have to leave. My roommates get the bus into town with me. They are going for drinks and I can not. I am only slightly jealous. I get a quick Luas out to do an hour’s session of electrolysis hair removal. It is particularly painful today but I manage not to scream too loud. I then get two buses to the hospital before spending two hours there. My Mam then brings myself and my sister Rachael to dinner in Nandos and we all spend the night at my Grandmother’s empty house.
Wednesday. I get up at 7 and my Mam drives me in to my appointment relating to my transition in Loughlinstown hospital. I am in a foul humour. I do not want to sit in front of a doctor while he decides whether I should go on hormones or not. People tell me that I should be grateful to have secured this appointment as they seem to be like gold dust but I can’t feel delight for the fact that I’m on of the lucky ones in a broken medical system. I am terrible company for my Mam as we sit in the waiting room for two hours. I can’t overcome my moodiness and I later have to apologise to her for it. I get my bloods done and I’m told that I will be sent out a prescription for hormone blockers. I feel numb as I thank the doctor for seeing me. It is far from a joyous occasion, rather just another thing to tick off my list. My Mam (who is an angel) sympathises with me. She brings me to a nearby shopping centre where we get breakfast and she buys me some amazingly generous gifts (If my sisters are reading this and rolling their eyes I wish to remind them that I was born with an unwanted penis). I then say goodbye to my Mam and get the Luas into town for an hour lecture. My friend and I go for lunch for an hour before we part ways. I walk through the park alone feeling the sun on my face and sipping from a hot chocolate. Due to some miscalculations on my part, I end up getting three different buses to the hospital when I could have gotten one. I don’t beat myself up about it. I just get on with it. I spend a couple of hours at the hospital and my Mam is also there. I hear disturbing news that one of my peers has been giving out about me to certain people (it’s a long story that I don’t wish to disclose). I rather unwisely decide to tackle this issue over text and end up in a terrible mood. I’m probably a little harsher than I should be considering everything that’s going on but I do make apologies for that. The issue is resolved pretty quickly. I get a bus into town and bump into my roommate with a friend of mine. We have one drink together before my friend decides to stay over with us. We get a bus back home and eat nachos. We discuss different matters and I have a rare cry (I think the first time my friends have seen me cry in fact). I recognise that this is because I have a lot going on and my friends are very comforting. We go to bed early.