Now that I’ve made my ebook “Who Cares? Life for an Irish Transgender Teen” free to the public (you can download the full thing here), I’ve decided to publish the chapters here on my website. Below is a chapter from this book which was published in April 2016.

I believe that people have the wrong idea about selfishness. They think that it’s a sin to be selfish when it’s exactly how you should be. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not advising that you don’t consider everyone around you because you care about yourself more, or to put your priorities ahead of everyone else’s. All I suggest is that you put your priorities on a par with those of other people. You are important. You are worth your own time. So you should treat yourself as such. Don’t let people convince you that it’s wrong to want the best for yourself. Don’t let them tell you that you shouldn’t prevent yourself from getting hurt. That you shouldn’t follow your dreams or treat yourself with the utmost respect. That you shouldn’t occasionally make decisions that no one in your life agrees with or that you shouldn’t be slightly vain. For some reason society likes to teach us that these things are wrong and we usually listen.

It’s okay to spend a lot of money on yourself, or to take long, unnecessary showers. It’s okay to chase the life that you want for yourself. It’s okay to take naps in the middle of the day and to go on long walks when you’re sad. It’s okay to spend a day watching crappy television and spend the next day reading books. It’s okay to give yourself a day off when you’re feeling sick. It’s okay to spend hours cooking a delicious dinner just for yourself. If it’s not hurting anyone, who cares? Why wouldn’t you deserve all of these nice things? Why wouldn’t you treat yourself this way?

Sometimes there are times when you need to put your needs before others. When situations and relationships are no longer making you happy, you need to abandon them. This is difficult. It means that you occasionally have to hurt people. But what’s the alternative? We all have to face hurt in this world. Trying to shield people from that is useless. All you can do is be as considerate and as sensitive as possible to the feelings of both yourself and others. Does this make it any easier? No. But there is absolutely no point in lying to yourself or to others unnecessarily when you are unhappy. The quicker you express your dissatisfaction, the quicker you and others can work through it. Be selfish sometimes. It doesn’t make you a bad person or an unkind person. It just makes you human.

Watch how I block out negativity below:

Read about how I doubt myself here.


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