I suppose I was quite nervous about turning twenty. I thought it was the age where you declare yourself an adult. The age where everyone expects you to stand on your own two feet. Although I don’t know why that would make me nervous because I’ve pretty much been standing on my own two feet for a long time now.
I was surprised to discover that this wasn’t true. People still view you as being quite young when you’re twenty. I remember during one appointment with a doctor, I expressed frustration with some of my friends in regards to my illness. But she told me that I can’t expect too much from twenty year olds.
Once I realised that people had this approach, I relaxed more. Now, I really do take my time. Recovering from a bad bout of mental illness isn’t really where I envisaged myself at the age of twenty, but I’m also aware that I have so much ahead of me and so much time to figure things out (hopefully).
Twenty is the year I became Laylah and the year I really began to dissect and focus on her needs. I’m happy to continue spending this year doing so. I think young people can so often put way too much pressure on themselves. I’m trying to resist any pressure whether that’s internal or external.
I’m enough, I’m doing enough, my life is enough.
Read about my method of looking after myself here.