Doubt.

Now that I’ve made my ebook “Who Cares? Life for an Irish Transgender Teen” free to the public (you can download the full thing here), I’ve decided to publish the chapters here on my website. Below is a chapter from this book which was published in April 2016.

In life, amongst other things, we have to battle two forms of doubt. The doubt that we have in our minds and the doubt that others have. Each is cruel. Each is horrible. I’m sorry. I wish you didn’t have to deal with these. I wish I didn’t have to deal with these. Are these two forms of doubt related? Of course. They walk hand in hand with one another. Other people’s doubt can make your doubt stronger and more relentless. The less self-doubt you have, the less other people’s doubts affect you.

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Evelyn Dillane

Now that I’ve made my ebook “Just Saying” free to the public (you can download the full thing here), I’ve decided to publish the unseen chapters here on my website. Below is a chapter from this book which was published in September 2016.

Christmas Day, 2015.

It’s late in the evening as myself and my family sit down to play charades. After drinking champagne, wine and other assorted drinks we’re all feeling quite giggly and energetic. It’s a standard game of charades. We each write either a book, a play, a song or a movie on a scrap of paper before tossing it into a bowl for the player to choose from.

I sit beside my Gran who is mostly lost when it comes to our choices but still seems to immensely enjoy watching us all make fools of ourselves. After a few rounds, she quietly asks me to get her a pen and a scrap of paper. After discreetly scribbling something, she tosses the paper into the bowl.

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My Generation.

Now that I’ve made my ebook “Who Cares? Life for an Irish Transgender Teen” free to the public (you can download the full thing here), I’ve decided to publish the chapters here on my website. Below is a chapter from this book which was published in April 2016.

I’ve been born into an odd generation. We’re all familiar with the technological advances and the social networking and blah blah blah. I feel like this chapter is going to make an awful lot of older people roll their eyes. I don’t care. I love my generation. I love them. I think they’re wonderful and I think they get an unjust, cruel treatment. When I was younger I played outside and did all of that stuff. I had fun with my friends and played lots of imaginary games. I watched a lot of TV and I played computer games too. When I was in primary school I joined Facebook along with a lot of my peers. I went on to join Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat and Tumblr. My favourite is Snapchat. I’m a weirdo who loves to post what they’re doing and see what everyone else is doing too.

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A Letter About Me-Danú Connolly Fanning.

Now that I’ve made my ebook “Just Saying” free to the public (you can download the full thing here), I’ve decided to publish the unseen chapters here on my website. Below is a chapter from this book which was published in September 2016.

A few weeks ago I set Danú a task; to write me a chapter for this book. I did this for two reasons. 1) I knew how sick of my voice every reader would be at this point and 2) Her and I have one of the most special relationships that’s currently in my life. I told her that it could be however long and be about whatever she wanted. I wanted it to be honest and reflective of our relationship. The result was slightly more honest than I actually expected but I appreciate that. I’ll shut up now and let her speak.

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Men.

Now that I’ve made my ebook “Who Cares? Life for an Irish Transgender Teen” free to the public (you can download the full thing here), I’ve decided to publish the chapters here on my website. Below is a chapter from this book which was published in April 2016.

I’ve mentioned my bad opinion of men and I feel like I should explain myself. Once again I do not intend to offend anybody with this chapter but I probably will because people love to find an excuse to be offended by reasonable arguments. Please bear in mind that I grew up in a small, rural area. Also bear in mind that I was and am friends with many boys that I respect and appreciate. I am not trying to generalise all men. I’m just being as honest as I can. This bad opinion of men is not something that I acknowledge to myself very often but it is definitely there. It is difficult for me to talk about it but that’s not going to stop me. Some would like to blame this outlook on the lack of a positive male figure in my life. Sorry to disappoint, but I have a great relationship with my father and I always have. I also have numerous male relations who I respect and admire.

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Get to Know Transgender Activist David Beattie

As an author, blogger and model, DAVID BEATTIE, 19, is also a LEADING VOICE in TRANSGENDER RIGHTS in Ireland and beyond…

On finding my voice: I’ve always had a very strong sense of what’s right and wrong and I’ve always fought for what I believed in, particularly when it came to my right to identify and exist however I wanted to. When I began transitioning, I found I had a lot to say about my experiences of the world. I thought the media represented being trans as a very negative thing, as though you automatically had an awful life just because you were born in the wrong body. I wanted to talk about my own experience which was very different from that so I wrote my first book (Who Cares) and it all grew from there. I’m a firm believer that if you don’t like the world you’re living in, you should do what you can to change it.

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The Future.

Now that I’ve made my ebook “Just Saying” free to the public (you can download the full thing here), I’ve decided to publish the unseen chapters here on my website. Below is a chapter from this book which was published in September 2016.

It’s difficult to write the following chapter without sounding ungrateful or disrespectful but I do not intend to be either.

Recently, I was contacted by a woman from an agency about my blog. She told me that I was on their “to watch” list and that they were interested on taking me on as a client. I was overjoyed…until she gave me a list of things I needed to do.

I would be lying if I said that I wouldn’t want an agency to represent me and my work. But I am not interested in changing the way I run my website.

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Change.

Now that I’ve made my ebook “Who Cares? Life for an Irish Transgender Teen” free to the public (you can download the full thing here), I’ve decided to publish the chapters here on my website. Below is a chapter from this book which was published in April 2016.

Everyone says it but I’m not sure that everyone understands it. Change is inevitable. You cannot stop change. Ten years ago your life was completely different and in ten years time your life will be completely different. Everything has changed and will continue to change. Our feelings change, our opinions change, our understanding changes, our outlook changes, our dreams change, even our looks change. Something you thought was inexcusable last year you could be doing now. You could be married to someone you once hated. You could never speak to someone you once loved. You could wake up one day and realise that you no longer want what once made you happy. Getting annoyed or sad about change is like getting annoyed or sad about the weather (which I know some people do). You can try to ignore it or control it all you want but you can’t stop it.

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The Popularity of Drag. Is There a Harmful Side?

I understand that a lot of people enjoy the world of drag and I’m really not one to bash something harmless that people are entertained by, but I’d be lying if I said that a part of me isn’t bothered by Drag queens. Many people my age are watching and enjoying RuPaul’s Drag Race. They enjoy the drama and the entertainment of it. But one has to question, could there be a harmful side to the world of drag?

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About Just Saying

Now that I’ve made my ebook “Just Saying” free to the public (you can download the full thing here), I’ve decided to publish the unseen chapters here on my website. Below is a chapter from this book which was published in September 2016.

I’m releasing this book six days before I turn nineteen. If someone could have told me that I’d have two books published when I was eighteen, there’s no way that I’d have believed it.

When I finished “Who Cares?” I had no intention of writing another book. In fact, I had no idea that I’d even continue to share my story. I honestly thought that I’d finish it, publish it and move on from it. But I found that I needed a new project to work on. So that’s exactly what I did. I’m unsure where I will be going from here, but I will most certainly enjoy figuring that out. What I do know is that I won’t be stopping here because I truly love the path that I’m currently on. Watch this space.

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My Relationship With Food.

Now that I’ve made my ebook “Who Cares? Life for an Irish Transgender Teen” free to the public (you can download the full thing here), I’ve decided to publish the chapters here on my website. Below is a chapter from this book which was published in April 2016.

This chapter will be rather difficult to write in an honest fashion, but I think that I can do it. I’ve always had an odd relationship with food. I suppose you could say that I’ve had some form of an eating disorder, something that probably never goes away. It never got dangerous, but it did get kind of scary. I’ve never thought that I was fat or anywhere near being fat. But there was a time when I thought that I could not be skinny enough. I suppose that it started when I was around 15. I had a major growth spurt at this time and as I grew upwards I also grew inwards. I didn’t even really notice this happening. I’d never been fat and weight really wasn’t a thing that I thought about. The first time that someone pointed it out to me was a strange experience. At first I looked down at myself and thought, “she’s right, I am really skinny.” But then I started to think, “isn’t that a good thing though? Isn’t that what everyone wants? Isn’t my body like the ones we all look at in magazines and envy.”

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Friends

Now that I’ve made my ebook “Who Cares? Life for an Irish Transgender Teen” free to the public (you can download the full thing here), I’ve decided to publish the chapters here on my website. Below is a chapter from this book which was published in April 2016.

I’ve had many friends over the years. Many people who have come in and out of my life and I am grateful for each and every one of them. When you’re young, friendships end all of the time. I’ve lost many people along the way but that is okay. It’s natural for this to happen. I wasn’t always good to my friends. I went through a long journey in which I learned how to be a good friend. I’d like to think that I’m a better friend now. I try to be there for my friends as much as I can. Because that’s all you can do at the end of the day. Be there when they need you and be there when they don’t. I have many people that I count as my friends. Many people that I really appreciate and that I love to spend time with. There are too many to discuss in this chapter. Instead I’ll just talk about the people currently in my life that I spend the most time with. It is not my intention to offend anyone in this chapter. I love all of my friends dearly and it’s difficult for me to omit people. However I must.

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