Things I Didn’t Know Before my First Time.

I actually had quite an unconventional first time for a lot of reasons. After it happened, I never actually thought about it too much. It wasn’t the significant experience that I thought it would be, rather just quite a natural thing to happen to me. Here is a list of things that would have been helpful to know before I had my first sexual encounter. But I want to make it clear that these are not regrets that I have because I actually really don’t believe in ever having regrets. Continue reading

Annoying Things I Do That I’m Trying to Stop.

I don’t think I’m a particularly annoying person, but I definitely have the capacity to be annoying. Here is a list of some things that I’ve noticed are quite annoying and that I’m trying to improve upon. Please do join me while I self-deprecate in the spirit of self-improvement. Continue reading

I’m not from Wexford.

Special thanks to Jenny Murphy Byrne, a friend from Wexford (shocker) who assured me that this post wasn’t offensive.

I know this is a strange topic to discuss in such detail but let’s talk about why I hate it when people say that I’m from Wexford.

For anyone outside of Ireland who may not know, Wexford is a rural county that was in my experience, shall we say, quite constricting. People often make the mistake of saying that I’m from Wexford and when I correct them by saying that I’m not, they roll their eyes. But why am I so adamant that I’m not from there?

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A Day Spent Living.

Let me tell you about a day that I had over the weekend. I woke up after sleeping for sixteen hours (have I mentioned how fun it is to have fatigue) feeling quite surprisingly refreshed. I was due to meet my friend Bridgin (I’m mentioning her by name because she complained that I never have before) for a catch up day.

One of my favourite things to do is to catch up with my friends over a meal, a coffee, a drink or a day of shopping. It’s even better if myself and my busy friends actually find time to do a combination of any of the above activities.

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The Triangle Scarf

Since LaylahTalks is now a year old, I’ve decided to resurrect certain dead posts from season 1. This post (which tells the story of my first experience of prejudice because of something I wore) is the third out of three.

Laylah Talks

I think I was about ten or eleven when I got the triangle scarf. I was part of a theatre group that were performing a Christmas pantomime. I was in the younger group and the younger group really looked up to the older one.

I didn’t have many friends in that theatre group. The girls were snobby and cliquey and weren’t interested in hanging out with a boy. The boys were usual boys and thought I was weird. It didn’t really phase me. I would sit with some other stragglers and listen to people’s conversations without weighing in. I blended into the background, just wanting to rehearse and perform and be a part of something that I loved.

One day, the older group were performing and I noticed that a couple of them were wearing these stylish triangle scarves. I fell in love with them. I wanted a triangle scarf…

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A Near Miss

Since LaylahTalks is now a year old, I’ve decided to resurrect certain dead posts from season 1. This post (which tells the story of how I had a horrifying experience on a night out) is the second out of three.

Laylah Talks

Sometimes we find ourselves thanking the stars because we’ve narrowly missed a dangerous situation. This happened to me a few months ago but I’ve avoided writing about it until now. I’ve avoided it because I didn’t want my parents and my family to see. I’ve avoided it because I was ashamed. I’ve avoided it because I thought that I was to blame. I’m now beginning to see that that was not the case.

A while ago I went to visit some friends in the country. It was a bank holiday and we decided to go out. I’d never been out in this area before but I was looking forward to experiencing it.

You probably all know this by now but I’m not the best at judging when exactly I should stop drinking. This is not for any reason other than that I’m just young and irresponsible, but it does result…

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Boys, Girls and Me.

Since LaylahTalks is now a year old, I’ve decided to resurrect certain dead posts from season 1. This post (which tells the story of how I dealt with getting stood up) is the first out of three.

Laylah Talks

I’m drinking my last cup of black tea before I go asleep. My phone vibrates. It’s late and I wonder who would be up at this time.  I’m sitting in the dark, wrapped in my silk dressing gown, with the only source of light coming from my laptop. I’m listening to soft, slow songs and doing my nails. I have a text from a boy who I met online. We’ve been texting back and forth for a few days and he is quite sweet. I also think that he’s quite attractive. He is always the one that initiates conversation between us and he seems a lot more interested in me than I am in him.

The message asks me to go on a date with him. I think about it for a while before telling him that I will. He wants to go to a tapas bar in the city…

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Clocking Out.

I find it funny that I’m writing this after only disclosing how I stay motivated a little while ago. But that’s the thing with dark times. You never know when they’ll occur. This is my first time writing in over a month. I feel a mixture of delight and apprehension about this.

I began a new hormone therapy in January. Being the stubborn bitch that I am, I was determined that my hormones wouldn’t affect anything that I was doing (I was naïve enough to believe that I had a choice).  One of the symptoms of these new hormones was chronic fatigue. Believe it or not, that was not a helpful side effect for someone as restless and as busy as I am.

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Four Months Without Sex Hormones.

In October of 2016, I began getting injected with the implant “Zoladex,” which suppresses the production of sex hormones. People receive it for many conditions but I was prescribed it because I was beginning a male to female gender transition.

The implant is injected using a massive painful needle that’s put into your lower abdomen. Once a month, I’d go to the doctor so she could inject me with this needle. For four months, my testosterone was suppressed and I wasn’t receiving any oestrogen, meaning that I was without any sex hormones. This is standard practice for someone undergoing a gender transition, but it brings a lot of side effects.

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