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Discussing Anxiety with Isabelle Evans.

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It’s been two years since I published the booklet version of my podcast Tangerine Dreams. To celebrate, I’ll be sharing the transcription of each interview over the coming weeks. You can see all the posts here.

I’m sure that everyone knows someone who suffers from anxiety. It’s not a new condition by any means. It’s defined as a type of fear that’s usually associated with the thought of a threat or something being wrong, but it can also arise from something that is happening right now. Anxiety disorders are the most common mental illness in the U.S., affecting forty million adults aged 18 or older. These conditions are highly treatable yet only one third of those suffering will actually receive the correct treatment.

Continue reading “Discussing Anxiety with Isabelle Evans.”

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Discussing Blogging With Ciara O’Doherty.

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It’s been two years since I published the booklet version of my podcast Tangerine Dreams. To celebrate, I’ll be sharing the transcription of each interview over the coming weeks. You can see all the posts here.

I have been a fan of Ciara O’Doherty for a long time now. As an impressionable, bored teen in the country I had a major interest in the world of bloggers. I would spend hours reading their posts, keeping up to date with their social media and watching their videos. Like most of my phases, it eventually passed. But one blogger in particular always kept my interest. I first met Ciara at an event and I was so delighted to finally encounter a genuine inspiration of mine. Launching this series, it seemed only natural that I would speak to Ciara being one of my inspirations for my work and my outlook. I would be lying if I said that I wasn’t nervous interviewing someone who I admire so much but she was so lovely and relaxing. One evening, at the end of our separate busy days, we organised to meet up in the city for a glass of Prosecco and a chat.

Continue reading “Discussing Blogging With Ciara O’Doherty.”

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This is Where I Am

Now that I’ve made my ebook “Stay Wild; Notes From a Self-Aware Teen” free to the public (you can download the full thing here), I’ve decided to publish the unseen chapters here on my website. Below is a chapter from this book which was published in July 2017.

I’m sitting in the kitchen of my apartment, beside a half packed suitcase that’s about to travel (with myself) to my Mam’s house in Wexford for the next few weeks. I can’t really believe that I’m typing that sentence, but this is my current reality.

My younger self would not be impressed that I’m about to (temporarily) give up my glamorous life in Dublin but such is life. My younger self wouldn’t have been able to predict any of what I’ve been through in the past couple of weeks either.

God has it really only been a couple of weeks? I’m so exhausted. I’ve changed my mind and gone through so many different headspaces in those weeks that it feels as though it’s been forever. But here I sit, hopefully nearing the end of this trepidation that’s been a part of my existence for six months, ready to take my life back. Continue reading “This is Where I Am”

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It’s Fun to Be a Fetish

Now that I’ve made my ebook “Stay Wild; Notes From a Self-Aware Teen” free to the public (you can download the full thing here), I’ve decided to publish the chapters here on my website. Below is a chapter from this book which was published in July 2017.

Let’s talk about a very charming young man that I encountered on the internet recently. Think you know where this is going? I doubt it.

What I’m about to describe is an experience that I think is unique to trans women. Not sexual harassment, unfortunately a lot of people experience that, but a specific form of sexual harassment that’s a result of the trans fetish. It’s hard to explain without an example, but lucky for me, I have many examples to draw from.

Continue reading “It’s Fun to Be a Fetish”

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Having a Body Image Disorder in a World Obsessed with Bodies

I’ve had extreme issues around body image for as long as I can remember. I hated the way I looked growing up and I tried to use a lot of different methods to make myself look different. Some of these were simple things like adopting a good skincare routine from a young age to develop smooth “feminine” skin. Others were more harmful, like starving myself to look smaller and more fragile.

Having an unhealthy obsession with controlling the way I looked got me a lot of approval. My peers in school would often makes comments about how much I looked like a girl. The girls would inform me that I had a high fashion figure being so stick thin. The fact that I was living as a male never came into it. I enjoyed that.  Continue reading “Having a Body Image Disorder in a World Obsessed with Bodies”

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My First Day in the Hospital

I awake early and look over my bags. I packed last night, but I have no idea whether I’ve even brought the right stuff. I’ve never stayed in a hospital before. I’ve never known anyone who was in a psych ward. Sitting on my bed, I have a few silent tears. My room is a complete mess. It hasn’t been cleaned in weeks. There are takeaway cartons and dirty dishes lying around it. I’ve barely been able to get out of bed the last few days.

My Dad is on his way and I resist the urge to get back into bed, pull the duvet over my head and sob. I agonised over what to wear. I thought it was best to dress in jeans, a long top and a cardigan. The most casual outfit I own. I didn’t want to dress up and look like I wasn’t sick enough. I laugh at this thought now,  but I really had no idea what to expect. Continue reading “My First Day in the Hospital”

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How it Feels to be Twenty.

I suppose I was quite nervous about turning twenty. I thought it was the age where you declare yourself an adult. The age where everyone expects you to stand on your own two feet. Although I don’t know why that would make me nervous because I’ve pretty much been standing on my own two feet for a long time now.

I was surprised to discover that this wasn’t true. People still view you as being quite young when you’re twenty. I remember during one appointment with a doctor, I expressed frustration with some of my friends in regards to my illness. But she told me that I can’t expect too much from twenty year olds. Continue reading “How it Feels to be Twenty.”

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Forgiving the People Who Let Me Down When I Was in the Hospital

There are so many people who let me down when I was in the hospital. More than I ever could have imagined there’d be. Being honest, I’m quite bitter about it. But I need to let go of that bitterness.

One thing I never wanted to be was bitter. I’ve always believed that bitterness halts you. It keeps you in a moment that’s already passed. And it’s an understatement to say that I feel ready to move on from my time in the hospital. It seems to be all I’ve focused on for the past few months. One of the ways I can move on is by forgiving each of you.

Continue reading “Forgiving the People Who Let Me Down When I Was in the Hospital”

I Was Sexualised Before I Hit Puberty

Watch more of my videos here.

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30 Facts About me.

I’ve probably told you almost everything about myself at this point. Nothing’s really been off limits when it’s come to opening up on my website or in my videos. However, I’m going to share 30 facts about me that you may or may not know. Continue reading “30 Facts About me.”

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Embrace the Grey- Let’s Banish Black and White Thinking

We live in a diverse world, I think most people see that nowadays. It’s a world where people are all on incredibly different journeys. Journeys most of us haven’t even begun to understand. Almost every day, I read an article or book about someone’s life which helps me to see things from a new perspective. I think this is the case for many of us nowadays with our online world. There’s less room for black and white thinking. That’s a benefit of social media which we don’t hear about often enough. This means that it’s time to embrace the grey. 

Continue reading “Embrace the Grey- Let’s Banish Black and White Thinking”

Ep.31: Is your boyfriend gay? – Niamh Horan and Laylah Beattie on smears, pansexuality and fantasies

On this week’s Girls With Goals, we’re joined on the panel by Sunday Independent journalist Niamh Horan alongside writer and blogger Laylah Beattie. An advocate for trans people in Ireland since transitioning herself, Laylah wants to share her story in the hopes of helping other young people who are struggling with their gender identity. Well known for her divisive journalism, Niamh Horan speaks out … Read More Ep.31: Is your boyfriend gay? – Niamh Horan and Laylah Beattie on smears, pansexuality and fantasies