Now that I’ve made my ebook “Just Saying” free to the public (you can download the full thing here), I’ve decided to publish the unseen chapters here on my website. Below is a chapter from this book which was published in September 2016.
I’m releasing this book six days before I turn nineteen. If someone could have told me that I’d have two books published when I was eighteen, there’s no way that I’d have believed it.
When I finished “Who Cares?” I had no intention of writing another book. In fact, I had no idea that I’d even continue to share my story. I honestly thought that I’d finish it, publish it and move on from it. But I found that I needed a new project to work on. So that’s exactly what I did. I’m unsure where I will be going from here, but I will most certainly enjoy figuring that out. What I do know is that I won’t be stopping here because I truly love the path that I’m currently on. Watch this space.
One thing that I’m definitely learning (please note the use of the present tense) with great difficulty is how necessary it can be to make sacrifices. Throughout the course of writing these essays I’ve experienced many health difficulties, both physical and mental, relating to my hormones.
Now that LaylahTalks has taken off a bit more, I feel that bit more pressure to be okay. I feel the need to end every essay about harassment that I’ve experienced or mental problems that I’ve been suffering from with a positive message. And don’t get me wrong, putting a positive spin on things comes very naturally to me and I can definitely see the light in the midst of trepidation, but I’m going through a hard time and I don’t want to sugar coat that.
“Some people hate me, some people would prefer it if I didn’t exist. Incidentally, I feel the same way about them.”
“I’m a young person managing my own life, my transition and everything else that I have on my plate. It would be more strange if I didn’t feel overwhelmed from time to time.”
“Recently, I’ve been trying out this thing with my friends where I don’t act like an autocratic bitchy diva who constantly has to get his own way.”
At a dinner with some girlfriends that I hadn’t seen in a while, we sat in front of glasses of wine after stuffing ourselves with Italian food. They announced that they had a gift for me, before one of them added that they weren’t sure whether I’d like it.
They presented a pink book with white writing. It was called “Go Get Him” by Avril Mulcahy; a dating book. At first I felt offended. And I told them as much. But they quickly explained why they had bought it.