A Week in the Life (Part 2).

Read part 1 here.

Thursday. My friends and I awake earlyish. There is an extremely inconvenient bus strike on, which means that we have to get a taxi into town. We order one after eating some leftover nachos (Because we’re classy). After doing four hours of French lectures, I get the train out to the hospital. I read my Granny excerpts from my book, which is devoted to her. She seems touched at the chapter that I have written about her. I am so grateful to be able to show it to her after she almost died just three weeks before. I leave a proof copy in her room with her. That night, I stay over in my Gran’s house alone. This doesn’t really bother me, although it does feel a little weird being there without her.

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A Gift.

At a dinner with some girlfriends that I hadn’t seen in a while, we sat in front of glasses of wine after stuffing ourselves with Italian food. They announced that they had a gift for me, before one of them added that they weren’t sure whether I’d like it.

They presented a pink book with white writing. It was called “Go Get Him” by Avril Mulcahy; a dating book. At first I felt offended. And I told them as much. But they quickly explained why they had bought it.

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Disappearing Acts.

Writing this chapter, I feel somewhat weary, I’m writing about something that’s very personal to me but I think that it needs to be said.

A lot of people wonder why I bother my ass dating while my situation is so complicated and I can kind of understand why. But I’m not making a huge effort when I date online, I’m just having fun with it.

A lot of people also don’t understand what I could possibly be trying to achieve. Am I looking for straight boys who don’t mind the fact that I am currently identifying as male? Am I looking for gay guys who will no longer be attracted to me after my transition? Honestly I don’t believe that sexuality is that simple. There are bisexual boys and many other forms of sexuality that society refuses to acknowledge and understand.

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Online Dating-What Not to Do.

I am one of the idiotic people who dabbles in a bit of online dating from time to time. I know what you’re thinking. What could possibly be my motivation? Do I hate myself? Do I have no respect for myself? Am I searching for a meaningless connection? Am I that desperate? The answer is that I don’t take it extremely seriously. I take a relaxed approach to chatting to boys online and I don’t have any unrealistic expectations about it.

The majority of people I speak to; I don’t have a particular connection with. This is fine. I do not invest much time into someone when I speak to them. But every now and again I meet someone that I have a spark with, and it’s nice. This is why I online date. I know there are weirdos. I know the chance of success is not high. I know I’m taking a risk. But I do it anyway.

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Boys, Girls and Me.

I’m drinking my last cup of black tea before I go asleep. My phone vibrates. It’s late and I wonder who would be up at this time.  I’m sitting in the dark, wrapped in my silk dressing gown, with the only source of light coming from my laptop. I’m listening to soft, slow songs and doing my nails. I have a text from a boy who I met online. We’ve been texting back and forth for a few days and he is quite sweet. I also think that he’s quite attractive. He is always the one that initiates conversation between us and he seems a lot more interested in me than I am in him.

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